Asking Eric: Dating apps lead to uncomfortable conversations, tell me about this news today

In the syndicated advice column “Asking Eric” (by R. Eric Thomas) published today, the lead letter comes from a 70-year-old reader writing under the name “Dating Dilemma”:

• The Letter Writer’s Situation: The writer has been divorced for 39 years and occasionally returns to dating apps. However, she repeatedly finds herself fed up and quitting because matches in her age group keep pivoting conversations to sex far too early. She considers herself open-minded but feels it is “too much too soon” and wonders if she is overreacting by being bothered that older men are still leading with sex talk right away.

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• Eric’s Advice:

  • Validation: Eric assures her that she is not overreacting at all. While early sexual banter might be acceptable to some users, it makes her uncomfortable, and her boundaries are entirely valid.

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  • No Obligation to Engage: She does not need to force herself to participate in conversations that cross her comfort zone or change her personal standards.

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  • Handling the Matches: While she could offer a reset (calling out the pivot and asking to start over), Eric points out that men jumping straight into sex talk without any encouragement are likely just fundamentally incompatible matches.

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  • The Takeaway: Rather than stressing over it, Eric suggests quickly unmatching and moving on to other candidates, or switching to dating platforms that put more steps or structure between initial matching and messaging.

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